The Malhotras and the Byrnes have been feeding each other for six years now, and it is time to make it official, twice. Join us at Larkhaven in May for the mehndi and the sangeet on Friday, then the pheras under the mandap on Saturday morning and our vows on the lawn as the sun goes down. Meera's henna will have Callum's name hidden somewhere in it. So does this page.
190
days until May 22
Our story
It started with a borrowed umbrella
2019
Union Station, in the rain
Meera had an umbrella and a train to catch. Callum had neither. She lent him the umbrella; he took eleven days to return it, on purpose.
2021
Dal meets soda bread
Both sets of parents at one table in Pasadena. Meera's mum brought dal makhani, Callum's dad brought his mother's soda bread, and nobody has stopped swapping recipes since.
2025
The question
On the bluff at Dana Point at low tide. Callum had practised it in Punjabi for Meera's nani, and in English for everyone else. Both answers were yes.
2027
Two ceremonies, one family
The pheras in the morning with Pandit-ji, our vows at sunset with Aunt Siobhan, and everyone we love on the same lawn in between.
The weekend
Thursday to Saturday, May 20 to 22
Thu 7:00 pm
Welcome supper
The orangery, hosted by the Byrnes
Callum's parents host a long, easy supper for anyone in town early: oysters, soda bread, a few Irish songs if Uncle Declan gets his way.
Fri 12:30 pm
Mehndi
The garden terrace
Henna artists from half past twelve, for anyone who'd like a design. Chai, chaat and lemonade in the shade. Callum's initials will be hidden somewhere in Meera's.
Fri 7:30 pm
Sangeet
The lawn pavilion
Dinner, family performances (both families: the Byrnes have been rehearsing) and dancing to the dhol until late. Come ready to be pulled onto the floor.
Sat 8:00 am
Haldi
The courtyard, family only
A small, messy morning with turmeric paste for the closest family. Your invitation says if you're joining; if not, sleep in and we'll see you at the baraat.
Sat 9:45 am
Baraat
From the top of the drive
Callum arrives with his side of the family, a dhol and a great deal of dancing. Everyone is welcome to join the procession or to cheer from the lawn.
Sat 10:41 am
Pheras
Under the mandap on the east lawn
At the muhurat Pandit-ji has set for us, 10:41 exactly. He'll explain each step as we go: the garlands, the seven rounds and the seven promises. About an hour, with seats in the shade; vegetarian lunch follows.
Sat 6:45 pm
Garden vows
The bluff lawn, under the arch
Callum's Aunt Siobhan, our celebrant, leads the vows we wrote ourselves, with one reading from each family. Twenty minutes, the sun low over the water.
Sat 7:30 pm
Reception
The terrace and the lawn
Dinner at long tables, a few short toasts from both sides, our first dance, then everyone on the floor. Music ends at eleven; the late-night chai is not optional.
What to wear
Colour, all weekend
Mehndi & sangeet
Festive and bright
Garden colours for the mehndi afternoon, jewel tones for the sangeet night. Indian or not, wear something you can dance in, and something you won't mind a little henna on.
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Baraat & pheras
Indian formal
Lehengas, sarees, anarkalis, kurtas and sherwanis, in any colour but bridal red. If you don't own Indian clothes, a bright dress or a light suit with a colourful tie is perfect. Please avoid all white and all black.
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Garden vows & reception
Black tie optional
Meera changes from her lehenga into lace for the evening. Long dresses, saris or suits, in soft garden colours; the lawn is grass, so block heels win. It's cool on the bluff after dark.
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Getting there
Dana Point, California
Larkhaven sits on the bluffs above Dana Point, at the end of a short road under the jacarandas, which should be in full bloom in May. John Wayne Airport (SNA) is 30 minutes away; LAX and San Diego are each about an hour and a quarter. Shuttles run from both hotels before every event and back after, so nobody needs to drive. (Larkhaven is invented for this demo.)
Dana Point in late May is warm days, cool evenings and jacarandas everywhere. Between the pheras and the vows there are five free hours: the harbour is a short walk, the tide pools are best around three, and the hotels have pools for anyone who needs a nap before the reception. On Sunday morning we'll be at the Sea Fennel with coffee, parathas and the last of the mithai.
Good to know
Questions, answered
Do I need to wear Indian clothes?
Only if you'd like to. Many of our non-Indian guests love it, and our cousins are happy to take you shopping in Artesia. A bright dress or a light suit is just as welcome.
What happens at the pheras?
We exchange garlands, tie a knot between our scarves, and walk seven rounds of the sacred fire together, making a promise with each one. Pandit-ji explains every step in English as it happens, and there's a printed order of service on your seat.
What will we eat?
The mehndi, sangeet and pheras lunch are fully vegetarian. The reception has vegetarian, Jain and gluten-free dishes, each labelled on the menu, along with fish and chicken.
Is there a bar?
Not at the mehndi or the pheras. The bar opens at the sangeet and again after the garden vows, with plenty of good things for anyone who doesn't drink.
Can I take photos?
Please keep phones away during both ceremonies; our photographers have it. At the baraat, the sangeet and the reception, take as many as you like.
Are children welcome?
Yes, at every event. There's a quiet room with a sitter from the reception onwards, so parents can dance.
Registry
If you'd like to give a gift
Having both our families on one lawn is the gift. If you'd still like to give something, here are two ideas.
